Ex-ANCIENT Vocalist Explains How She Became A Follower Of Islam

November 1, 2005

HailMetal.com recently conducted an interview with former ANCIENT frontwoman Deadly Kristin. An excerpt from the question-and-answer session follows:

HailMetal.com: I'd like to start with a question which was on everyone's mind for a long time. Have you converted to Islam and how do you combine the religion (or Sufism) in your case with Satanism?

Deadly Kristin: "Wow, we begin with a very sharp and good question. I can't say I have converted, as I didn't have any religion prior to Islam. My mind had always been troubled by existential questions since when I was a kid. I have always been deep and always questioned what I was being told. I wanted to think with my own head as most of the things adults were saying didn't make sense to me. I started to observe life around me, the human behaviour, I started to study science, philosophy, astronomy, biology, physics, chemistry and builded myself a culture. I observed nature and the laws that rule it, I spent nights in deep meditation wondering about the meaning of life, the meaning of death, the creation of the universe. I put together the pieces of the big puzzle and I saw what all these sciences had in common. Starting from that basis, I began to formulate my own theories on life, on the universe, on everything. In these years I spent hundreds of beautiful hours talking with intellectual and educated people from different countries, different cultures and different backgrounds. We discussed existential topics and exchanged views and ideas. I exposed my own theories which were often considered very interesting and valuable. Still some things were driving me insane as in my theories I had some gaps, some things to which I still didn't have an answer. I couldn't see the totality of things because in my head I was denying the concept of divinity, of a surpreme entity that dominated the creation. I didn't think there was a god because of the multitude of bad and unfair things that happen in this world. I was thinking: if there is a god, why doesn't he show himself, why does he allow these things to happen?

"At a point of my life, I even thought that if there was a god then he must have been good and evil at the same time. That would have been the only explanation to everything. To why we are given life and then it is taken away from us, to why we have to go through injustice, pain and suffering. To why we are given the blessing of having a family and lovely people around us and then we see them die, leaving us in total despair and agony.

"When I first met Abdullah Hamzah of CELT ISLAM SOUNDSYSTEM and Dawoud Kringle, who are now my best friends and band mates in ANALOGUE FAKIR, we started talking about all this. They were the first people I was talking to who could not only understand perfectly my theories, but could also fill me in where I had gaps. They introduced me to sufism and to Islam. When I started to read the Qur'an I was very curious and eager to see if I could find something similar to my theories there...and not only I did find it, I even got to know more about what I had assumed and found the answer to all the questions that always troubled my heart. Believe me, I am someone who doesn't get influenced very easily, I was the biggest non-believer and I always based my theories on matter of facts not on dogma. The Qur'an is an incredible source of information on life itself and its meaning. You can read precise and scientific details on how the universe was created, on the laws that dominate it, details on the relation of time and space, of the phases of development of embryos! Plus also incredible important revelations for oceanology, astrology etc. The Qur'an was written in 610 A.D., in a time where science was very basic and technology didn't exist. The funny thing is that modern science is discovering NOW, at the present moment what already was explained in the Qur'an about 1.400 years ago! The theory of the big bang for istance, the very recent discovery that the universe is actually in constant expansion (and not stable and immobile within its limits like it was always thought),the also very recent theory of the Big Crunch, which says that one day the universe will collapse on itself and return to the condition of its origin the one that originated the big bang. All this and more is written in the Qur'an and there is no doubt for me that is the word of God, because any other explanation wouldn't be possible. If you are interested in reading about the scientific miracles of the Qur'an I can reccomand this wonderful website: miraclesofthequran.com. As far as my old idea of God that could be good and evil at the same time, Allah represents this very well. He is the infinitely merciful but also an incredible punisher. The bad things that happen in life are tests on people and everything happens for a reason. The reason why a lot of evil and disgusting people get all the money and power is to give them the illusion they are sufficient to themselves and increase their lack of faith. The more they have the more they become ungrateful, the more they become their own gods, the more they become arrogant...and the greater punishment will have in the afterlife, which is the real life, not this one.

"As far as Satanism [is concerned], I never claimed to be a satanist. In fact in the past I didnt even believe in Satan just like I didnt believe in God as I thought they were just an invention of Christianity. I wrote anti-religious lyrics in the past because I was very pissed off at people who claimed to be religious and they don't even know what their religion is about. They just believe in what they have been told and they don't use their heads. I don't have much appreciation for people who are like sheep and don't use their brains. My choice for Islam was motivated and studied for long. On another note you may want to realize that most bands use 'Satan' as a symbol of rebellion, as a metaphore. They dont go out and slaughter goats and rape babies during black masses. If they do they are really stupid. To my eyes who adores Satan was just as dumb as someone who adored Jesus Christ or any other god. For the same reasons I told you before."

Read the entire interview at HailMetal.com.

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