STRAPPING YOUNG LAD Drummer Plugging Lips Into Fans' Buttholes

STRAPPING YOUNG LAD drummer Gene Hoglan has posted the following report from the group's tour with FEAR FACTORY, SOILWORK and DARKANE:

"Couple days ago, most boring day off ever. Washed the fuck outta my clothes. Wow, exciting. Yesterday, we played Slayerville [sic], New Jersey, at the Starland Ballroom. A cell-reception black hole. I did FEAR FACTORY's soundcheck with 'em, 'cause Raymond [Herrera, FEAR FACTORY drummer] hadn't turned up yet. Hacked my way through 'Self Bias Resistor', 'Replica', and tiny pieces of some of their other tunes. My already-booming respect for Raymond went up even further when I played his kick pedals, which are DW5000's. Playing D-dubs are like having two midgets holding onto your beaters, goin', 'Just TRY to kick this!'

"Sean Sitka, whom some of you who've watched the live DVD might recognize as our erstwhile bus driver, showed up and is now driving SOILWORK and DARKANE. Alas, we've lost our Swedish brethren to the other bus. A tearful good-bye as the DarkDudes piled their stuff off our 'brand-new hotness' over to the 'old and busted' ('Men In Black II', anyone?). We love Sean, he's our righteous bro', and it's awesome to have him on the tour. And DARKANE is flat-out the coolest band we've ever shared a tourbus with.

"The show last night was wicked, everybody got into the spirit of the thing, with catcalls, jeers, and middle fingers aplenty. It's nice to play in front of 1200 people who are out for a good time, and who get it. I sojourned to the merch booth, and talked drums for an hour with a bunch of different folks, which was very cool! But, I'll probably catch shit for not walking up to EVERY SINGLE FAN and plugging my lips into their buttholes (thanks for the quote, Bori! Oct. 23, 1988). Fuck, I don't know why I do this sometimes...

"Our friend Jodi, who is KING DIAMOND's um...onstage 'Performance Artist,' came to the show, and promptly lost her super-cool KING DIAMOND hoodie. She related to us that it took 7 years of loyal service to the King to earn that hoodie, so we felt pretty bad for her. I must admit, as hoodies go, that was a pretty sweet hoodie. So, if anybody found it, you'd make a girl pretty happy if you found a way to return it...

"We're in Philadelphia today. PennSYLvania. Cool state, for that reason right there. I'm considering heading over to the Mutter (where're the UMLAUTS on this thing?) Museum. That would be cool. Raymond is dead-set on me jumpin' into this cheesesteak-eating contest. We'll have to see aboot that...I bet Jed's [Simon, SYL guitarist] happy to be home.

"I think I'm done writing these blogs for awhile. Maybe I'll give someone else around here a chance to babble. Maybe Mr. Jedly will grab the next one. It sure as hell ain't gonna be me."

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