Satire: GREAT WHITE Concert Blacks Out Eastern Seaboard

August 16, 2003

Satirical "news" site News Hax is reporting that "a faulty electrical display during the second set of a GREAT WHITE concert in upstate New York is being blamed for one of the largest blackouts in U.S. history Thursday (August 14),as power grids up and down the Northeast shorted out in a chain reaction from a short in the bands electrical display.

"The band's new electric stage-show was a replacement for the pyrotechnic display that recently burned a similar dance club to the ground in a fire that inflicted hundreds of casualties. Engineers point the finger at the tangle of bare electrical wires inside and outside the 670,000-watt display, theorizing a roadie spilled a beer onto the electrical tap which the display drew its power.

"Spokesmen for the band had no comment, citing the need for more information to assess the situation. However, the band's lawyers were spotted out on a shopping spree of expensive suits, cars, and exotic vacation packages.

"The electrical grid popped this afternoon, leaving 3,700 square miles of the Northeast corridor and parts of Canada without electricity, grounding commercial air traffic, stranding commuters and shutting down New York City's financial markets. Well over 30 million people are without power still tonight, 17 million in New York State alone, also the previous victim of GREAT WHITE's stage mismanagement.

"Authorities have stressed to the public that there is no link to terrorism. However, questions are being raised behind closed doors as authorities are noting that the band GREAT WHITE has been responsible for far more destruction and disruption in the U.S. this year than any terrorist organization, even surpassing the entire Iraq war for total inflicted U.S. casualties.

"John Ashcroft is reportedly in flight to New York now with a giant cross in hand to eliminate what he calls a threat to God-fearing Americans everywhere. 'I told you all many times that rock music was evil, but people laughed, and previous administrations policies of rock music appeasement forced us to delay dealing with this problem until obviously too late.' "

(Thanks: News Hax)

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